DATING TIPS BY DAMILOLA JOHNSON

SAME FAITH; SAME DOCTRINE

Yes! I know this sounds like I’m about to start preaching, but really, it’s just the title that came up in my head for this post. Basically, since we’re discussing dating tips, I’d like to discuss or share the reason(s) I think sharing the same faith and doctrine with your spouse is important in a relationship or while dating/courting.

Someone may be thinking “Does it really matter? I mean we’re just dating, right? So what’s the fuss about same doctrine or same faith?”

OK! First thing is this: Dating should come with a purpose! Dating shouldn’t be just because you want to be with someone or because you’re lonely and fed up with being in the singles zone, but because you’re trying to check your compatibility with the other person and getting to know them even better. You’re dating because you want to be sure that you can commit the rest of your entire life to someone else.

Now, this is one of the reasons you should date.
Doctrines/beliefs differ amongst various people. I’ll site some examples here….. “But in my own church, we don’t have to cover our hair, it doesn’t really matter, I mean after all we have hair on us…” “We don’t wear trousers in my church, it’s against the doctrines of the Bible. God condemns it”… ok, how about this…. “We fast every Sunday for service in my church, it’s one of the fundamental principles in my church”… “In my church, we observe Sabbath on Saturdays…” “Prophecies aren’t real, it’s just the imaginations of some people”….. Now this can go on and on for various people (some of you can relate to this in your present relationship or even that person you’re thinking about committing to)…

Let me take you further a bit in this scenario….
Child: Mom, will I be attending your church today or dad’s?… OR this
(At the shopping mall, husband notices daughters staring at some jean trouser collections, as a typical father, this ensues…)

Husband: Babe, let’s buy the girls get a jean trouser or two, it really doesn’t matter. Like my pastor was even sharing with us on Sunday that….

Wife: No dear, you know my stand on this. It is wrong, not Biblical at all. People who wear them are… (this couple here do not share the same doctrine: their beliefs and views on this matter differs, and it has definitely been an issue before this scene..)

Daughter: But mom, pleeeasseee, it’s really cool. All the girls at my school wear them for sports, and….
Now this conversation could go on and on like this, and may even n result in a serious disagreement in the home and other things. Imagine when these children grow up, what faith, ideologies and beliefs will they have from their upbringing. This is one very vital reason same faith and doctrine must be considered when dating.

I know this may even seem quite irrelevant to some, thinking that isn’t it the same God we serve? Is that not all that counts? Really, it may seem trivial, but regardless, it is important to ensure that you and your partner share the same faith, doctrine and belief.

Now I’m going to quote Amos 3:3 “Can two walk together except they agree?” Please think on this verse and think about the home you want to build… Is it the type where mom and dad go to different churches? Or the type where mom and dad do not pray in the same way, or one does not even believe in prayers at all? Or one where you and your spouse cannot agree on a thing simply because your faith differs? Please think about these things before you start courtship, if possible before you start dating. Find out these basic details.

I honestly didn’t intend to make this post a long one, take some time to read through and drop questions/contributions. Enjoy!

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14 Comments Add yours

  1. seyikemi abodurin says:

    Hello damilola, nice write up. I am in a relationship with a muslim guy and I am a christian. We love each other so much. But the issue is if we get married I will become a muslim. Please advice me, I don’t want to change my religion n I dun want to lose him

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    1. Dammy says:

      Thank you Seyi.
      I know it’s usually said for the both religions that we serve same God and all, but the truth is, the two religions are different, some variances like the mode of prayer, days of worship and some other beliefs exist (this I’m sure you know). I’m gonna ask if you have taken time to pray about this issue, if you haven’t, I think you should. I understand you’re in love, but dear, it isn’t all about what you both feel for each other. At least you know your stand and you don’t wanna leave your religion, and remember the Bible says…”…and they twain shall become one flesh”….ONE in everything. Not like differences wouldn’t arise, but this is one difference which you need to take care of before making more commitments. Also, if you decide to go on with it and probably continue with your own religion, think about the children you will have…
      I hope I’m able to help with this little piece.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. adekaitan stella says:

    wao! I love this write up. My guy is a very good guy and he is ever learning to learn but he drinks not to stupor. But I don’t like it but I really love him and I desire he stops. Please any advice

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    1. Dammy says:

      Thanks Stella!
      It’s a good thing you desire he stops drinking. You do love him. Please do not try to enforce that he stops drinking (do not threaten him with leaving if he doesnt stop), do not try to change him. It’ll backfire, but there’s something you can do though…Talk to him about the dangers in taking alcohol (health wise now). There are some dangers in having a lot of alcohol in your system (you can use Google here for better info), the effects may not even surface now, but much later in the future. Also, love him even more. Habits are not easy to break, they take time and patience. Be patient with him and commit the situation to God’s hand. If he’s the man you wanna have forever with, pray out the habits you don’t want in him. All the best.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. temi johnson says:

    Please many people are always talking about God will, does it mean a person was made for you. Or you can marry anybody that suits your person. Because I am a bit confused about this marital issues

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  4. anonymous says:

    My parent wants me to marry someone I don’t want to because of business contract. I don’t love him at all though he is a good person but my heart belongs to another. I can’t spend the rest of my life with someone I don’t love. I need help.

    Like

  5. shade says:

    What does perfect will means, can you get a perfect man?

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    1. Dammy says:

      Perfect will doesnt mean perfect man. Are you a perfect woman, Shade? This should give you an answer to your question.

      Like

  6. steph says:

    Hello johnson, What if your man is not really devoted to christ but he is a person who is ready to learn, can I still go one with th relationship.

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    1. Dammy says:

      Hi Steph!
      If there’s anything God wants to see in His children, then it is a willingness (a desire) to grow and learn of him. Asides the desire and readiness to learn, he has to make moves/steps. Is he making any step? Like studying God’s word, praying, or fellowshipping? All these will determine whether to continue or not, but the first factor is the willingness. So, if he is willing and taking steps to become closer n devoted to God, then you should totally continue with your relationship. I wish you a beautiful one.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Dammy says:

    Hello! First, I’d like to know which of the Johnsons you are cos I’m one too…we may just be related…

    Temi, God’s will for each and everyone is in His word. In fact, His will is His word. If you wanna know what God wants for you maritally, go into His word, read what He has written concerning you in the pages of the scriptures. His word is light, and with light, you get directions on where to go. With God’s word, He’ll direct your path, even in the choice of whom to marry. And remember that His thoughts (including marital thoughts for you) are of peace, of good, and not evil…

    There are a lots of people who can match your personality, and this is why you need to seek God to know which one is right for you.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Dammy says:

    Anonymous….
    I agree with you, you can’t live the rest of your life with someone based on your parent’s business contract. No, it’s wrong. What’s the guy’s view on everything? I think you’ll make a stronger point if he also disagrees on the issue with his parents. Have you spoken to your parents about this matter, about how you feel? You should do this first, try and make them understand your reasons. I mean it’s forever we are talking about here. If they seek your happiness even after they’re gone, then they should allow you be with the person you want and love. There will be more contracts for them, but you don’t get to marry two times or more (I’m sure you don’t want this). You need to be firm and with respect to them in your stand. Initially, they may blatantly refuse and even say things to you, there may be issues, but don’t compromise since you know what you want. I wish you the best.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. saphie says:

    Dammy, I love my boyfriend and he spends a lot for me, but he cheats on me and he has started making it obvious. Pls I don’t want to lose him. What can I do

    Like

  10. Dammy says:

    Saphie, I like your name.
    You see for ladies, its so easy to stay with a cheating guy all in the name of love, but by doing this, you’re cheating yourself. You won’t lose him dear, he will be the one losing you by the time you leave him. I’m sure your heart’s breaking every time you feel it that he’s cheating or has cheated, you don’t need to deal with that kind of emotion. You need someone who VALUES you. Ignore the millions he’s spending on you (that’s if its even up to that). If you’re certain he’s cheating, leave him. Someone who will not only spend on you, but will also value you will come your way sooner than you think. You deserve much better than a cheating boyfriend (and this you know). I pray God gives you strength to let go and move on. Take note: he may try to plead with you (if he’s a good guy) when you tell him you wanna quit, but please take your stand and don’t look back.

    Liked by 1 person

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