DATING TIPS BY SPARKLE

THE POPULAR FRIEND ZONE

Many of us have people in our lives whom we have carefully and consciously or unconsciously placed in that popular friend-zone! They are everywhere in our lives, they have become a part of our everyday lives, we have become so used to them (over familiarity is the term here.)

Ok, I`m gonna share with us the story of Tobe from the movie “When Love Happens” You see Tobe and Mo were great friends and to Mo, that`s all there was to it, nothing more, no strings attached. Tobe, on the other hand wanted more, but could not seem to put in words his obvious affections for Mo! So, guess what?! Mo meets Mr. Handsome-and-supposedly-Mr.Right” and is swept off her feet!
Now a lot of you guys out there are just exactly like Tobe! You`re apparently in love with your best friend (whom of course is female), you just however are so scared to tell her or let your feelings be made known to her, simply because you lack the guts or you have become so comfortable in that zone! You are scared of being rejected, you`re so scared of losing the wonderful friendship, that you choose to stay as just friends when there obviously can be much more to gain!

According to Mo and Tobe`s friend, Tseju, when she counseled Tobe, she said and I quote here “…that’s the point here, you are not supposed to remain as just friends, things are supposed to change! You are supposed to be friends first, and then you move on from there!” This is my exact point to all of you guys out there who are in the friend zone watching the one you love being swept off her feet over and over and over and over again! It`s about time you speak up or the next thing you know, she`ll be reaching out to you as Mrs. Somebody-who-is-so-not-you!

And you know the most annoying part of this friend zone situation is the fact that for every time she has a problem with Mr. Handsome-and-supposedly-Mr.Right, she keeps coming back to weep on your shoulders and talk about how he had said this and that to her and how she felt so unloved and bla bla bla bla… (oh well, those of you in this situation know how the whining goes…)

And you know it becomes even crazier when she is now with Mr. Handsome-and-supposedly-Mr.Right, and you are with Mrs.Somebody-who-does-not -get-you as much as that best friend of yours, and you can`t seem to enjoy your own relationship, you know you just keep going back there, and keep reaching out some way, you know you keep confiding in her and all that and you just keep watching and suffering in the silence.

Alright, too many words already. Point is this: RELATIONSHIPS DON’T JUST HAPPEN. ENEMIES DON’T JUST START A RELATIONSHIP. RELATIONSHIPS ARE BUILT FROM GREAT FRIENDSHIPS. YOU JUST NEED DISCERNMENT TO BE CERTAIN WHICH OF THOSE FRIENDSHIPS ARE MEANT TO BE TAKEN TO THE NEXT PHASE, AND THE TRUTH IS, MOST TIMES YOU ACTUALLY KNOW, YOU`RE JUST TOO SCARED.

I hope I have been able to reach out to someone out there, so you don’t lose that great friendship God`s given you. I mean I still feel like saying more, like YOU ARE MEANT TO GET MARRIED TO YOUR FRIEND! Is that clear?! Don’t lose that girl/lady/woman to some other guy who doesn’t even know what her favourite past time is, what food she loves, what her favourite colour is, someone who doesn’t know she is allergic to the smell of lavender, who doesn’t know that she cries when she sees certain movies, and that she sometimes snores in her sleep as a result of fatigue…and others.

Just tell her already!

Love from mzwemmy

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10 Comments Add yours

  1. vivian says:

    Been a while wemi….nice update, #thumbs-up

    Like

  2. anonymous says:

    What if she is in a relationship, n you love her, is it advisable to let her no.

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    1. Sparkle says:

      Hi! You really do not want to destroy her happiness, if she is happy in the relationship. If she is already dating someone who isn’t you, you may have to look the other way dear and better still if you are totally convinced you both are meant to be together forever, then you wait patiently. Time always brings solution. Don’t go telling her you are in love with her and want more while she is seeing someone else, she may get confused.

      Like

  3. wole says:

    I love my sister’s best friend but she is way younger than I am. Who do I do?

    Like

    1. Sparkle says:

      Hi Wole! How younger than you is the girl is question? If you are 28 and she is 15, please stay away! How young is she? Is she awaiting UTME results or something? You have to be specific here.. And we can go from there. But I’ll say this, of you know she is too young for a serious relationship which you may be looking for, then don’t stay away.

      Like

      1. Sparkle says:

        *then DO stay away*
        Sorry for the error

        Like

  4. ade says:

    I love a girl, we have been in a relationship for 3years now, my family doesnot support it. They believe she is not right for me. I don’t know why.

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    1. Sparkle says:

      Hey Ade, I really do not like situations like this, cos most times it feels like you have to choose between your family and the girl you love, but the truth is it doesn’t always have to be that way. Have you asked why your family feels she isn’t right for you? You should find out the main reason, and is it all the members of your family that feel same way? Find out the ‘WHY’ and pray about it too. Miracles happen when we pray and believe.
      All the best.

      Like

  5. mary says:

    Mzwemmy welcome back. Have been waiting for your post. @sparkle and @mzwemmy, The advice you gave to my friend the other day was awesome. I have an issue, i’m in love with my best friend’s fiance and I think he is the one for me, though they are about to break up, she came to seek my counsel but I didn’t know the right words to give her because I want him. They quarell a lot and they don’t look like the perfect couple, I don’t know if I should advice her to break up, and if they do I won’t have the courage to tell her I love her man. Help me

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    1. Sparkle says:

      Hi Mary! I love your open mind. Thanks for sharing. You used the words ‘fiancé’ and ‘perfect couple’. Listen dear, fiancé – they are engaged! Meaning stop nursing that feeling you have for him! And maybe they don’t look like the perfect couple, truth is there isn’t a perfect couple (If u know any, please signify) Couples quarrel, they disagree and all that but it doesn’t always mean they aren’t meant to be. You shouldn’t be advising her to breakup of they are not causing emotional or physical damage to each other, you should listen with the open mind I know you have and give your sincere and honest opinion (not the opinion of a lady who wants her best friend’s man!) Look away please, stop nursing that feeling! So what of they break up? Does he even love you? What if he goes on to another person,where does that leave you? What if he comes your direction, where does that leave you with your best friend?!
      You also mentioned that you ‘think’ he is the one for you, dearie, you are not even SURE, you have to be sure. I mean what if you are only crushing on him?
      I hope this comment really helps you.

      Like

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